


Call Me a Hopeless Romantic

by justpast_thehelterskelter



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-03 19:00:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justpast_thehelterskelter/pseuds/justpast_thehelterskelter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt from bewareoftheyowzah: Matt sends Alex something in the mail … Like a letter or a parcel and Salome opens it …</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There was something wrong with her mother. Salome wasn’t sure what exactly it was, because her mother seemed fine whenever she was around. But every once in a while, when Alex thought her daughter wasn’t looking, her smile would fall and her eyes would be miserable. Once, Salome had come home from school early to find her mother surrounded by a handful of tissues, her eyes red and puffy. Alex didn’t say anything, simply gathered up the tissues and moved to the kitchen to make Salome an afternoon snack.

Well, Salome thought, the last time mum was like this she was leaving to film her last episode of Doctor Who. Alex had been very quiet then, emotional and withdrawn. It was similar to the way she was acting now, but there was something deeper. If my mother isn’t going to talk to me about it, Salome thought, I’ll simply have to do something to make her feel better. And with that in mind, she began planning.

In all her fourteen years, she figured the best thing to make her mother happy would be to clean something- without being asked. Salome figured either her room or the dining room table would be the best place to start. Better be the dining room table, she thought. Let’s not give mum an excuse to come into my room.

The dining room was only used on special occasions. The last time had been almost two months ago when Matty came by for dinner. That had been a fun night. Her mum had cooked all her favourite foods (cause they were Matty’s favourites too- or at least, he said they were) and they had played board games for hours. She thought that her mum and Matty made a cute couple, and certainly it looked like they went well together when they snogged on TV. But she went to bed and when she woke up in the morning Matty was gone and her mother was sad.

Since then, the dining room had become mostly storage. There were some old scripts, some binders, some of Salome’s forgotten writing projects and school work; there was a section of the table entirely devoted to the homework assignments she was procrastinating on. Salome figured if she cleaned the dining room table, she could order some take out and have a proper family meal in the dining room. Maybe that would make her mum happy.

She began cleaning with determination, sorting the papers on the table into separate piles: recycling, “Mum’s stuff”, “my writing”, and “my schoolwork”. Salome had made a pretty sizeable dent in the clutter when she came across a stack of letters held together with an elastic. Curiosity got the better of her- she opened them. Each sheaf of paper looked as though they had been opened and closed many times. The creases were well worn and some of the words looked smudged. She looked at the first letter. It was dated nearly a year ago. How many letters were there?

_My Dear Alex,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I know that I’ve texted you nearly every day since you left, and I know that I could Skype you whenever I get the chance, but I’ve always liked letter-writting. Call me a hopeless romantic. I know you’ve only left set yesterday, but Los Angeles is so far away from Cardiff, I don’t know how I’ll manage. Don’t roll your eyes at me you know it’s true! I can barely walk across a flat surface without tripping, who’s going to help me up without making fun of me? Kazza might just push me back down again! She’s evil, I tell you. Evil! And who’s going to make sure I don’t starve?? I don’t know how I’ll be able to survive without your cooking! That’s it! I’m telling the Moff he must bring you back to set immediately!_

_I miss you,_

_Matt_

Well, that was interesting. Salome put the first letter down and turned to look at the second.

_My Dear Alex,_

_I know I wrote you just a few days ago, and it was very nice talking to you on Skype last night. Say hi to Salome for me! You’ll not believe what happened today on set! Actually, I’m not sure anyone really knows what happened… It was funny, though. You would have laughed at that. Don ‘t laugh at me, I know you would have! Karen snuck into Arthur’s dressing room and hid, trying to scare him, probably. Well, anyways, something happened, and it backfired, and Kazza ended up covered in whipped cream and coffee. She wasn’t too happy about that. Neither was costuming, come to think of it. I hope all is well in sunny LA._

_I miss you,_

_Matt_

The next several letters were much the same. Each talked about whatever happened on set, or a song Matt thought Salome might like, or a food dish that particularly reminded him of Alex. He was a hopeless romantic. It was kind of cute. It did raise a lot of questions, though. Were her mum and Matty dating? Were they an actual real couple? Or were they just pretending? It didn’t seem like pretending from these letters. Was that why her mum was so upset? Salome flipped through to the last few letters.

_My Dear Alex,_

_I hope you’re well. I’m going to be in Los Angeles for a few weeks! We should meet up. I meant to tell you during our Skype calls, but I got so happy to finally see your beautiful face and hear your wonderful voice that I forgot. Don’t snort! It’s not ladylike. I miss all your innuendos on set. Jenna is lovely, but she doesn’t flirt. Not that I want to flirt with her. I mean, she’s cute, but you’re cuter. And she has a boyfriend. Nevermind, forget I said anything about Jenna. I’ll call you when I’m in LA. Maybe we can get some of that Americanized coffee._

_I still miss you_

_Matt_

The next letter was also the last letter. It was dated several weeks later and was the shortest letter of the bunch.

_My Dear Alex_

_I miss you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me._

_Love,_

_Matt_


	2. Chapter 2

_Earlier that Year_

Matt sat on his couch, slouched more like, beer in hand as he contemplated the royal fuck-up he had created. He hadn't heard from Alex since she left for the states. No text messages or Skype calls, she even left the present he had gotten for Salome lying on his kitchen counter with a little note. It was the note that killed him. Of all the things he could have done wrong, he didn't expect her to get angry at the one thing he had been certain he had done _right_. She was stubborn and beautiful and fragile and he loved her. He _loved_ her. The realization had hit him hard, long before he lost Alex, or maybe his realization of love was why he lost Alex. He couldn't help replay their final moments together over and over in his head. The beer probably wasn't helping. Or maybe it was helping. His drunken stupor was enough for him to remember, with agonizing detail, everything that had been said or done that night. He just wasn't sure if he wanted to remember. 

That was a lie. He wanted to remember, he just wanted to remember a different scenario. One that didn't end with her in tears, hurrying around his flat gathering the things that had accumulated there from the weeks of her stay. A scenario that didn't have her catching a cab to the airport without a backwards glance as he stood in the doorway in only his pajama shorts pleading with her to please, come back inside and just _talk to me_. She didn't listen and he was left in his apartment alone with the memories of the night. The candles were almost completely melted, the wax dripping onto the coffee table and adding to the stains that were permanently etched into the wood. The roses he had gotten her lay forgotten on the floor, the flowers wilting like they could sense his remorse. She was gone. 

Matt was yanked back to present day when the door to his flat flew open with a _bang!_ He was almost startled enough to move from his dejected position on the couch, but looking up he saw it was only Karen, and so he went back to staring morosely at his beer. 

"Morning stupidface!" she said cheerily. "Bit early for beer, isn't it?" 

Matt just gave a shrug and took another swig.

"I thought 'stupidface' was saved for Darvill?" he said bitterly.

Karen simply laughed, moving so quickly Matt's alcohol-clouded reflexes had no hope of protecting him. In a flash, the beer was gone, replaced by a bottle of water and two aspirin. She picked up the other cans that lay scattered across the floor and dumped them into the bin by the kitchen door.

"God, Matt, have you done anything since Alex left but drink beer?" she complained. "I mean, there's not even any food here! What have you been eating?"

Matt gave another shrug. He went back to staring at the water bottle in his hand just as intently as he had been staring at the bottle of beer. He barely even flinched when Karen picked up a pillow and threw it at him.

"Okay, that's it," she began. "You are going to get your smelly arse up off that couch and go take a bloody shower! And then you are going to come back here and you are going to tell me exactly what happened between you and Alex because she might be a great actress, but she's a shitty liar and I can see straight through that crummy facade she's putting on."

Matt grumbled but stood up to comply. Karen's voice followed him down the hall.

"And you better have a good reason for almost making my daughter cry!"

~~~~~~~~~~~  
On the other side of the world Alex Kingston was barely keeping herself together. She probably shouldn't have left the way she did, but it was the only thing she could think to do. Her self preservation instincts were kicking in- fight or flight? She'd choose flight any day. It was easier on the heart. 

Except in this case, she thought wryly. Why did he have to ruin everything? She had been on top of the world! It seemed as though nothing could go wrong, so perhaps it shouldn't surprise her that everything blew up in her face. Maybe she should even have been expecting it. 

No, she thought, she couldn't have expected _that_. It had been the last thing on her mind when she had gotten back to his flat that night. She opened the door to find the flat spotless, candles burning brightly all around the living room with the lights dim, and there in the middle stood Matt holding a beautiful bouquet of roses. No, she certainly wasn't expecting what had happened next. She never thought that Matt would get do-

The door slammed open and Salome walked in. Alex quickly shook away the thoughts of Matt, cleaning up the mess she made of the living room and moving towards the kitchen to make Salome a snack.

"So," she said brightly. "How was school?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, alright. so i am expanding this story. this chapter is slightly shorter than the other, but i'm thinking that each chapter might be drabble size until the whole story is revealed. but since i'm expanding this fic, i might not get to the other prompts i have until the inspiration hits me (i apologize and thank whoever sent me the prompts- they will be written! i promise, just not right now, i don't think) but please, let me know how you like this story, and of course, any speculations you might have as to what happened exactly. review and enjoy, or enjoy and review, or just enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

"I loved her, Kazz" he said softly, so softly and so suddenly she almost missed it. "I loved her, I love her. It just took me a while to realize it."

He choked out a laugh, bitter and mirthless, before slowly taking another sip of his water. Karen is sitting next to him on the couch, feet curled beneath her as she watches him. He had taken a shower and then returned to the sofa and sat silently. His quiet words startled her, he had been quiet and still for nearly twenty minutes- a new record for him, she thought, fighting back a smile.

"I didn't realize that what I was feeling was..." he paused, shaking his head. "I knew I liked her, I thought she was the most beautiful person in the entire world. I thought it was lust and attraction."

He fell silent again, contemplating his words. He had been a miserable lump since Alex left, although neither he nor Alex would talk about what happened. Karen only knew that they fought, that they hadn't spoken to each other in weeks. 

"And?" Karen broke into his thoughts.

"I just wanted Alex to know that I loved her. Love her. I still... love her," he said quietly. 

Karen let out a sigh.

"Matt, what happened?" she asked. "Specifics. What you said, what she said, what you guys did and all that. It might make you feel better if you talk about it. 

Matt closed his eyes and the night she left, the night everything changed, immediately sprang to the front of his memory. 

_It had been a typical night, except Matt had gotten off work slightly early in preparation for what he had planned for the night's events. He knew Alex would be arriving home at seven, a production meeting would be keeping her late. He was excited to finally be telling her how he really felt, how he had realized what he felt. How much of an idiot he was for not realizing things sooner. He ordered her favorite fancy meal from her favorite restaurant (paying extra for them to prepare it as a take out meal) and he lit candles strategically around his living room (taking care not to light anything on fire as he did so). It took him a while to decide what type of flowers he should get, but he figured a beautiful bouquet of roses would work perfectly and brighten up his flat a little. He had considered buying a bouquet filled with a bunch of flowers whose colors clashed wildly, but they made him sneeze, so roses were the best bet._

_The room was all set, he dimmed the lights and then went to get changed. It was nothing fancy but it was a bit better than the Guns "n Roses t-shirt he was wearing. He made sure to have his lucky bow-tie in his pocket. He had borrowed it from set, well, stole it really, but he did have every intention of returning it eventually. Or getting another that looked exactly like it and putting that one back in costumes. He finished changing, grabbed the flowers, checked that the food was ready and the apartment wasn't in danger of being burnt down, and then checked his watch. 6:57. Perfect. He heard Alex at the front door and closed his eyes. This was it. It was finally happening._

_He could hear Alex toeing off her shoes in the front hall and then walking towards the living room as she called his name. He stood up straighter, running his hands through his hair one last time to make sure everything was just right._

_"What's all this, then?" Alex asked with a smile, leaning forward to give Matt a kiss. She looked down at the bouquet he was handing her and let out a gasp._

_"Oh, Matt, these are beautiful!" she exclaimed, immediately moving to the kitchen to get a vase._

_She stopped short when she reached the kitchen, finally taking in the new decorations in the apartment. She looked at the table, covered in her favorite food, looked at the candles placed around the apartment, and then finally looked at Matt._

_"Matt, what's going on?" she asked, moving back towards Matt in the living room._

_"What, we can't just have a nice evening in together?" he asked innocently._

_Alex's eyebrows went up suspiciously. "Well, we haven't before. We usually go out."_

_Matt licked his lips nervously. She had a point. They hadn't really had a romantic date, exactly. More like they went to the pub and grabbed a bit to eat with some other members of whatever production they were working on, be it Doctor Who or otherwise, before returning to Matt's flat and having a delightful shag and then going to bed. They never really talked about relationship-y stuff before. Well, that was going to change._

_Matt shrugged. "I wanted to do something different," he said. Alex still looked suspicious, so he continued, his prepared speech about his feelings long forgotten._

_"Look," he began nervously. "These past few months with you have been incredible. I don't know about you, but I've never been happier." He paused to take in a deep breath._

_"I made us dinner tonight, well not made, but you know what I mean. I wanted us to just stay in and talk. No distractions, no other couples, just us. Because I think... no, I am one hundred percent sure that I love you."_

_There. He said it. It felt so much better to get that weight off his chest. He looked towards Alex with a smile on his face, only to be shocked when he was met with narrowed eyes and a sad smile._

_"Oh, Matt," she breathed out, and those quiet words felt like a sucker punch to the stomach. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."_

_There were tears in her eyes. Oh, fuck, Matt thought. I made her cry?? This wasn't good. Alex didn't say anymore, she just kept repeating "I'm sorry" over and over again, and Matt was panicking._

_"What?" he said anxiously. "What are you sorry for?"_

_Alex just shook her head. "Oh, Matt," she repeated again._

_She let out a little sniffle._

_"Oh, Matt," she said again. "You must think I'm a terrible person!"_

_Matt frowned. "Why would you say something like that?" he asked._

_"To have led you on this entire time!" she nearly wailed. "I never thought you'd fall in love with me! Why would you do that? You could do so much better! Please, don't say things you don't mean"_

_Now, Matt was confused. What did she mean, led him on? He walked into their relationship with eyes wide open. His night was not going the way he planned._

_"What do you mean, you lead me on? You did not lead me on! I didn't know what our relationship was, but I know what I'd like it to be. I love you and I want to be with you. I want to go out together on public dates and kiss in the park and hold your hand as we walk down the street to get coffee together. I want you to not book a hotel room under your name when you come to film your television shows, because I want you to stay with me in a place we can call home together! I most definitely mean what I say, and I most definitely could not do any better than you because you are a wonderful, amazing, beautiful person and I am so lucky to know you!"_

_His speech left him winded, but Alex didn't change her stance. She began to move about the apartment, collecting her things, blowing out the candles and putting away the food._

_"I'm sorry Matt," she said as she worked. "But I guess we just don't want the same things. I think it would be better if I take my leave soon. I'll go back to my hotel room for the rest of my stay. I am sorry, Matt. Truly. But someday you'll find a beautiful woman who wants the same thing you do, who will stay with you and live with you full time and you can have a family with her, instead of whatever it is you think you'll have with me. My life is split between two countries. Yours isn't. I can't give you everything you want, and you shouldn't have to settle for second best. I'm sorry."_

_It took her no more than two hours to collect her belongings and call a cab. He plead with her to stay, to listen to him, the entire time, but she worked wordlessly. He even tried the childish tactic of unpacking everything she packed, but that backfired._

_"Do you see what I mean?" she cried when he had grabbed the clothes out of her suitcase for the third time. "You are just much too childish, much too young for me. What we had was great, but it can't move forward. So we might as well stop before someone really gets hurt." All her clothes back in the suitcase, she closed it and moved towards the door, the taxi waiting by the road._

_"Alex, please!" he cried._

_She just shook her head. "If you really want to be mature about it, change out of that ridiculous fancy outfit and come help me pack."_

_Matt gaped at her in disbelief before doing exactly what she said. He tried to tempt her a little by leaving his shirt off, but even his new muscular body did nothing to sway Alex. She got into a cab without a backwards glance and left him standing in the doorway._

"I found out she went back to Los Angeles two days later," Matt finished glumly. By that point, Karen had given up on trying to get Matt to drink water and they both sat on his couch drinking beer. 

"I'm sorry, Matt," Karen said quietly. He just let out a sigh and shook his head. 

"She's gone Karen. It just didn't work out. It happens sometimes," he said, sipping his beer once more. "I don't think I'll stop loving her for a long time, but I don't think there's anything more I can do."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Karen brightened.

"I know what you can do!" she exclaimed. "You are going to get your butt off this couch and come to Los Angeles with me next week. We'll figure out the rest of our plan when we get to the states."

Matt frowned.

"I told her I loved her and she left. I don't think she feels the same. Maybe we should just let it go. No need to embarrass myself further," he said glumly.

He flinched this time when Karen wacked him with the pillow.

"Ouch, Kazza! What was that for?"

"For being a stupid face! You guys practically set fire to the cameras, and don't you try and tell me that was all acting. Now get up and start packing! You're staying with me til we go to California." 

And with the start of their plans finished, they settled in for the night, ordering take out and trying to get Matt to think positively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just one more chapter i think. this was slightly longer than i expected. read and enjoy! and please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Salome had found the letters.

It shouldn't be entirely unexpected; Alex had left them in a very much not-private area of the house. She wasn't sure if she wanted to burn them, frame them, forget them, scream, cry, laugh, curl up into a ball and sleep for all eternity. 

She was a horrible person. Despicable, really. A _cougar_. God, she was setting a horrible example for her daughter. Her nearly teenage daughter who appeared in her doorway with the stack of letters and a curious and slightly hurt expression on her face. 

"You and Matty were dating," she said accusingly. 

Alex whipped around to face her daughter, her face red, her hands clenched into fists, her knuckles turning white from the pressure. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no sound came out.

"You were dating, right?" Salome asked. "Or were you just doing... 'adult things?'"

"Salome Violetta!"

Her daughter let out a little giggle, adding a tiny snort at the end for perfection.

"Well, it certainly seems like you had a relationship of _some_ sort!" Salome cried. "I mean, have you read these? They scream 'I'm in love' and _I'm_ thirteen and I can tell!" 

Alex let out a sigh. Trust her daughter to be incredibly perceptive. She slowly unclenched her fists and beckoned her daughter into her room.

"No, Matt and I were not dating," she began slowly. "I suppose you could say we had a relationship of sorts, but it's over now. I probably should not be telling you all of this, but you found the letters and you deserve the truth."

Salome nodded and sat down on the edge of her mother's bed.

"Is that why you were sad? Did Matty break up with you? Was he mean?" 

Her voice was sad and small. Alex was torn. Salome loved her Matty. Tell her it was his fault and she would lose a great role model. She couldn't taint Matt's name like that. It wouldn't be fair to him or her daughter. On the other hand, tell Salome the reason for her misery, her cowardice, her failure to just let herself be _happy_ and lose the respect of her daughter. Alex decided on a slightly modified version of the truth. 

"We had reached a point together where we wanted different things. We decided that we simply didn't work as a long-term relationship. It's okay, though, we're still friends!"

Only a partial lie. Sort of. Unless you consider omitting part of the truth as a lie. Okay, she was lying big time, and she knew it. And, worse, her daughter knew it too.

Salome's look of disbelief was almost enough to make Alex crack, but before she could, the doorbell rang. _Saved_

Well, sort of. It was Friday, Florian wasn't supposed to pick up Salome until Saturday afternoon. Was he here a day early? Slowly shaking her head, as if that would help untangle the mess of thoughts in her brain, she followed her daughter into the hallway. It took her a moment to register that Salome had already thrown the door wide open and was shrieking with joy for some undetermined reason. 

"Mummy, Mummy look who's here!!" 

Pure joy radiated through the house with Salome's yells. Alex rounded the corner with a feeling of what she'd find, dreading and hoping at the same time. Her instincts were confirmed as she saw Salome practically jump into the arms of an impeccably dressed, tall, gangly red-head. And standing behind the red-head, in his favorite t-shirt and ripped jeans, was Matt. Shades on, head bent low, the picture of complete and utter dejection. Alex closed her eyes momentarily before putting on her best smile and going to greet her unexpected visitors.

She approached the doorway cautiously, but she didn't need to worry. As she got closer, she could hear Salome and Karen excitedly chattering away. Matt was silent and almost small behind them. Gently, she ushered them all inside. 

"Oh, God! I can't stay long!" Karen said. "I just had to get this one out, but I thought I'd take Salome for a girl's night." 

She smiled brightly, one arm slung around the just-barely-a-teenager's shoulder.

"I promise nothing extreme!" she hastily added. "Just some shopping and dinner, maybe we can get our nails done"

Seeing the hesitant expression on Alex's face, Karen kept talking.

"Oh, please!" she pouted. "Let me spoil my granddaughter! We'll only be out for a couple hours, promise!"

"And besides," she said, voice dropping to a whisper. "I think you and stupid face need to talk."

Alex glanced over to where Matt was standing. He was loitering near the doorway, as though frightened of properly entering the room. 

"Yes, alright," she conceded, smiling at the victorious grins on the girls' faces. "But just shopping and dinner, and no buying anything to extravagant or expensive, Ms. Gillan!"

Karen pouted again.

"But... but..." she spluttered. "I'm _grandma Pond_! I have to spoil her! It's my duty!" 

At Alex's glower, she backed off, but she didn't miss the small smile on Alex's face. A little bit of spoiling would be just fine. 

Almost as quickly as the energetic ginger had entered her house, she was gone and it was quiet. She had almost forgotten about her second visitor. Almost.

With a skill only someone as Matt Smith could manage, the silence was disturbed with a clatter and a dull thud as he attempted to lean against the doorjamb to the living room and missed, falling to the ground with his arms windmilling frantically. Alex couldn't help herself. She laughed. 

Face bright red and bum sore, Matt tried to regain a tiny bit of dignity. It didn't work too well, so he simply gave it up as a bad job and went to sit on one of Alex's plush chairs.

"Oh my dear, what are we going to do with you?" Alex murmured softly, her eyes still glinting with laughter. Matt just shrugged sheepishly, not quite sure what to say. He cleared his throat nervously, bracing himself for what was sure to be an awkward conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i know i said that this would be the last chapter, but i lied. when i finish writing the next chapter, _that_ will be the last chapter. also, sorry it's taken me more than a month to write this chapter (and sorry that it's a crappy chapter) but shit kinda went down in my life and things got crazy. hopefully, i'll be able to concentrate enough to finish the next chapter soon, but unfortunately, i can make no promises. enjoy and review!


	5. Chapter 5

It was definitely awkward. And quiet. Silent. Alex looked at the man sitting on her sofa, almost surprising herself that she had actually called Matt a _man_. It seemed so silly to her that she usually thought of him as a boyish creature, all arms and legs and hair and bounces and grins. Perhaps it was good that he no longer seemed childish in her eyes. She had slept with him, after all, and what that said of her mental state, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to think about. 

Matt cleared his throat subtly and brought Alex back to the present. Right. The talk. Or rather, the _talk_. Okay, she was mentally stalling. Again, Matt cleared his throat.

"Well," he said slowly. "This is awkward."

And because it was so utterly _him_ , she couldn't help herself. She burst into laughter, throwing her head back as she relaxed, almost all of the tension leaving the room. Matt watched her laugh with a sheepish grin, unsure if she was laughing at him, herself, or the situation, and finally deciding it must be all three combined. Finally, her laughter died down to small chuckles and she was able to catch her breath, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Yes," she said, still gasping for breath. "I suppose it is, a bit."

But she was smiling as she said it.

The mood lasted for about five more seconds before Matt ruined it.

"So, I suppose we should talk."

Blunt. To the point. Extremely not subtle. 

The good mood evaporated.

"You have pretty good timing, actually," Alex said. "Salome found the letters you sent me this morning. And she was curious, of course, because that's who she is, and she was asking questions, and then you showed up, and yeah. Here we are," she ended a bit lamely. 

Matt nodded, more to himself than anything else.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" he asked. "Cause I got to admit, I've been pretty fucking miserable since you left."

He looked up at her with an expression she had seen so many times before, half pleading, half flirting. It had the same effect on her as it always did. 

She sighed as her heart melted a bit at his expression. Best get things over with.

"I'm sorry," she said softly "You must think I'm a terrible person."

She looked so small and sad in that moment, Matt wasn't sure what to make of it. Certainly, the past few months hadn't been easy for him, but it seemed as though it hadn't been the happiest time for her either. Before he could say anything in response, she continued.

"Our.. relationship, if we could call it that, was fun and fast and flirty, and full of lust and passion. But I don't know if a relationship like that could last. And I got scared." She paused and took in a deep breath. "I guess that's not really an excuse, but that's all I could think about when I left. Passion and lust. I guess I'm not exactly relationship material."

Matt found he was unable to actually formulate a response to her speech. His mind had frozen, his mouth agape as he sat on her couch. Slowly, he came back to himself and began shaking his head back and forth. 

"You're wrong," he said quietly. "You could never be more wrong."

He stood up from her couch once more and began pacing again.

"Do you really think that what we had was only sex?" he asked incredulously. "The sex was great, but it was never about sex."

He stopped for a moment before shaking his head.

"No, no, no. That came out wrong," he spluttered. "You- I- words can't explain it."

He sat down again with a sigh.

"I've missed you," he said quietly. "I didn't know what I was going to do without you. It was like a part of me was missing. So don't tell me that we only had passion and lust. Because even now, not being with you is tearing me apart."

The moments ticked away in silence. Matt could see Alex struggling to keep her composure before she decided to get up and retreat to the kitchen. He didn't move. She came back carrying two mugs of tea. Handing him one, she sat down next to him on the couch.

"I should have handled things better. I shouldn't have left the way I did."

Her voice was quiet and almost deceptively steady.

"But even if we do feel the same for each other, we can't just jump back in together and instantly start shagging!" 

Now it was her turn to start pacing.

"You can't just show up here, tell me you love me, that you still have feelings for me, and expect me to melt in your arms and take you to my bed! It doesn't work that way, Matt!" 

She began to get agitated, her voice getting louder and wavering with emotion. 

"Whatever we had, whatever it was, it ended, Matt," she said more calmly, looking towards him on the couch. "We can't just pick up where we left off. It won't end well." 

Her speech over, she sank down into her chair, like all her energy drained away. She closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry. When she opened them again, she was startled to see that Matt had moved to kneel in front of her.

"We don't have to pick things up as they were," he said. "We can start over. If you want. We can talk about what we want from each other and how to make this work. I want this to work. I want _us_ to work. And if we both try, it will."

He looked up at Alex to see her blinking back her tears furiously. 

"Okay."

She spoke so quietly, Matt was sure he was imagining it. 

"Okay," she said again, louder and with more determination. "We can try."

And in his happiness, Matt leaned forward on impulse and kissed her soundly. Alex melted under his touch with a sigh. Instinctively, her hands began to play with his hair and she let out a whimper of contentedness. It had been so _long_ since she had kissed him, since she had felt _whole_. It was heavenly. 

All too soon, they pulled apart, looking at each other breathlessly. Her lips were swollen and her eyes were dazed and she had a sinfully sexy smile on her face. He had a similar expression on his face, with the added benefit of beautifully ruffled hair to go with it. He looked away from her, his smile suddenly shy.

"Was that okay?" he asked nervously. "I know we said we'd take it slow, I just couldn't resist."

Alex returned his smile.

"Darling, it was fine. Perfect. Just what I needed." 

She leaned in to kiss him again when the door opened and Salome walked in.

"Mummy, you'll never believe what I got with Aunt Kazza!" she said cheerfully.

They could hear Karen struggling with what sounded like a massive amount of shopping bags. 

"Oi! Missy!" they heard her shout. "Come back here and help me with these bags!"

Matt and Alex both chuckled at Salome's expression. The reluctant teen traipsed back into the hallway to help with the bags. Alex stood up and held out her hand for Matt to take. Once they were both standing, she leaned in and gave him a short peck on the lips before following Salome down the hall with some bags.

Matt smiled to himself before hearing Karen come into the room.

"All right, Giraffe boy?" she said with a grin. "Got things all straightened out?"

Matt nodded. 

Things would work out fine. He had hope.

After all, he was a hopeless romantic.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter is up after almost two months. life has been hectic and a piece of crap, but things seem to be getting better. i was simply incapable of the brain power necessary to write for a long time, but i've been inspired lately. i've also moved across the country, so there's that too. but enough about me. hope you guys liked the last chapter. leave me a review, tell me how much you've missed me (or something like that, make me feel better :D)

**Author's Note:**

> first of the Tumblr prompts i have received so far. I may make this a multi-chapter if there is significant interest. let me know what you think of it!


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